Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 92140 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 461(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92140 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 461(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
That night, Cole Security had a little party in the pub down the street from our offices. While Jackson and I sat at the bar with a couple beers waiting for our turn at the pool table, he asked me when I was leaving.
“Tomorrow,” I said.
“You staying with Mason?”
“Nah. I got a hotel.” I tipped up my beer. “I like my privacy.”
“Are you going to see Millie?”
At her name, my heart lurched. “I told you, we ended things.”
“I know what you told me, but I also know how miserable you’ve been for the last couple weeks. I’ve never seen you like this, not even after your divorce.”
I shrugged. “What do you want me to say?”
“You know what?” Jackson shook his head. “I’m not sure. I know you did the right thing, it just sucks that it has to be this way.”
“Yep.” I took another long pull on my beer. “I bought her a diamond necklace.”
Jackson about choked. He set his beer down and turned on his stool to face me. “What?”
“I saw it in the window of this jewelry store, and I knew she’d love it. I bought it for her for Christmas without even asking the price, and the woman working was like, ‘Your wife is a very lucky woman.’ I almost fucking lost it.”
“Dude.” Jackson folded his arms over his chest. “What is this? What are you hoping will happen when you give her a diamond?”
“I honestly don’t fucking know.” I stared at the bottle in my hand. “I just want her to have it. I want to give it to her.”
Jackson stared at me silently.
“When we said goodbye, I told her to go after what she wants in life, I told her she deserves to get everything she wants. And she said, ‘So do you.’ But you know what the crazy thing is?”
“What?”
“I don’t even know what that is.” I looked at him. “What am I doing with my life? What do I want?”
He nodded slowly, then rubbed one finger beneath his mouth. “Is there any chance,” he began, “that you’d consider having a family with her? Like, if the vasectomy could be reversed?”
I frowned. “Every once in a while, the thought occurs to me, and then I think, ‘Are you fucking serious? You’d have a grandchild older than your own kid.’ It’s too messed up. And those reversals don’t always work.”
“What about adoption?”
“I’m not asking her to give up having her own child for me. No way.”
“You don’t think she’d like to be the one to make that choice?”
“Look, we already had this discussion, and you were the one who told me I had to break it off,” I said testily. “I did the right thing.”
“Okay, okay.” He held up his hands. “I hear you. I just want to make sure you’re doing the right thing for the right reason. We’ve known each other a long time, Barrett. You know my past and I know yours.”
I looked away from him and clenched my jaw. “This isn’t about the past.”
But I had a hard time sleeping that night, wondering if, somehow, it was.
CHAPTER 24
MILLIE
The Cloverleigh Farms Christmas Eve party was in full swing.
Guests dressed in cocktail attire were milling around the inn’s spacious lobby, which was fully decked out for the holidays. A towering evergreen stood in one corner, dazzling with white lights and gold ornaments. A fire in the huge stone fireplace warmed the room, and stockings for every employee hung along the wide wooden banister of the staircase. Carols played on the inn’s sound system, a bar was set up at the reception desk, and long rectangular tables covered in white linen were laden with serving platters. Everyone was eating, drinking, chatting, and enjoying high spirits.
Except me.
I was doing my best to fake it, standing with Winnie and Dex near the tree, glass of wine in my hand, watching Hallie and Luna toss pieces of popcorn at each other’s open mouths from farther and farther away. Every now and again, I glanced at Winnie’s left hand and thought to myself, By this time tomorrow, she’ll be wearing that ring.
But mostly I kept my eyes on the door, watching for Zach to come in. We hadn’t spoken since he left my house over two weeks ago. Was he even in town? Maybe he’d decided not to come. Even if he was in town, the chances he’d actually show up at this party were slim to none. But Mason and Lori weren’t here yet, so anything was possible.
Felicity wandered over and tugged my sleeve. “Hey. Come here.”
I followed her around the corner, into the hallway that led to the bathrooms on one side and the inn’s bar on the other, which was closed and dark. “What?”
“I’m just checking on you.”
I shrugged. “I’m fine.”
“You sure?”
“Of course I’m not sure. I’m checking the door every thirty seconds, terrified he’s going to walk through it and equally terrified he won’t, and I’ll never see him again.”