Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 99356 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 397(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99356 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 397(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
Steph squinted. “I’m not sure it’s like that, but okay.”
“I just mean I wanted to quit the whole dating thing for exactly this reason. I’m so tired of getting hurt.” I felt the emotion welling up in me again and forced it down. “I’m tired of giving parts of myself to people and watching them toss it in the trash. What’s so wrong with me that nobody wants me?”
“Oh, shut up,” Steph’s words were harsh, but her tone was soft. She pulled me in, hugging my head to her chest. “If someone doesn’t want you, that’s a them problem. You’re amazing. You’re smart, talented, and you’re terrified of speaking up for yourself, but you do it anyway, and I’ve always admired that about you.”
“Really?” I asked. It was a stupid question, but I was also an emotional wreck at the moment and any kind of praise was a slight balm to the sting.
“Yes. And somebody not wanting you doesn’t have a damn thing to do with you. It doesn’t mean you should change. It doesn’t mean you should feel bad about yourself. You think chocolate ice cream throws a pity party when some kid orders vanilla? No. It just keeps on being chocolate because the next kid or the next is going to order a scoop. That’s just life, dude.”
I grinned. “Except there was a whole field trip of kids coming through my ice cream shop. They all asked for a sample, ate it up, and then decided they didn’t want any more than that after all.” Tears started to fall again. “And right now, Dean is tossing the little red sample spoon in the trash.”
Steph laughed softly, stroking my hair. “You’re clearly not ready for rational advice right now. We’re in the self-pity phase, and that’s okay. And all this ice cream talk makes me want some. What about you?”
I nodded. “I’m going to pick the one that nobody has taken. The sad little flavor in the corner who keeps getting rejected, no matter how hard she tries.”
“Okay, okay.” Steph shushed me and started to stand. “Let’s go get some ice cream.”
The sad little flavor nobody wanted was Minty Monkey. It was mint mixed with strawberry ice cream and had chunks of hard candy mixed in. Frankly, it was disgusting, and I could see why I was the first one all day to order a scoop from the untouched bucket of ice cream. The girl behind the counter had even asked me if I was sure.
Yes, I was sure, I’d snapped.
Except, now all I could do was look sadly at my ice cream and think this must be how Dean saw me.
“Stop that,” Steph said. “I can see you’re trying to hurt your own feelings again.”
“I’m not trying. It’s just so easy. I mean, of course he doesn’t want me. I’m Minty Monkey to him. I’m disgusting. I’m a confusing blend of flavors nobody in their right mind should’ve ever put together. And why are the hard candies so hard? Who wants that? I don’t get it.”
Steph gave me a patient smile, then stuck her chocolate cone out toward me. “Want to swap? I’ll eat your Minty Monkey.”
“No. I picked this one and I’m going to stick with it.”
“Maybe we should change the subject a little,” Steph said. “I mean, what are you going to do about the big fake? Are you two going to be able to keep it going in front of everybody after this?”
“I don’t know. We didn’t really talk about it.”
“Because you know we have the rehearsal dinner coming up. And then the wedding night. It’s going to be like four hours of dancing and partying after the wedding. If you two are glaring and cold shouldering each other, people are going to wonder.”
“Let them wonder,” I said, feeling over the whole thing. “Maybe that’s for the best. We can just get it out in the open. Or people can think we broke up for real. That happens to real relationships all the time. Trust me,” I added with a bitter smile.
Steph rolled her eyes and smirked. “Mom would be heartbroken if you two split.”
“We were never together!”
“I know, I know. I just mean if she thought–It’s just that mom is really rooting for you. She hates seeing you get hurt. I do too.”
“I’m not sure I see another option right now. Unless I can miraculously develop skin as hard as diamonds. Men seem to really enjoy hurting me.”
“Dean seems like a good guy. I don’t think he enjoyed it.”
She was right, of course. Dean had looked miserable. I knew it was just wishful thinking, but I’d thought he looked like he was about to take it all back a few times–like he wanted to. But for some reason, he had stopped himself and simply left when I asked him to.