Total pages in book: 49
Estimated words: 46792 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46792 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
It was all I could do not to throw my arms around him when he walked into the kitchen and met my eyes earlier, though. I could tell when he said what he did about his dad that he wished he could take it back. He almost looked ashamed.
My emotions have been all over the place since that night. I’m worried about Jake getting out of prison and angry at myself for judging Rowan so harshly before. I just assumed he wanted to stay unattached and keep his options open, but his fear of love and commitment is real. Hearing the pain in his voice as he talked about his dad broke my heart.
He lost both his parents when he was still a kid. He still needed love and nurturing and he had to grieve their loss alone, without family to support him. I should have known when he told me before how his dad died--and why--that it was part of why he’s afraid to fall in love.
I wanted him to stay so badly. Every time I’ve been in my bed since that night, I’ve thought about him being there. It’s probably my imagination, but when I close my eyes, I can smell his leather-and-pine scent on my comforter.
“Cam.” Tess shoves my shoulder, snapping me out of my daze.
“What? Sorry.”
“Can you put all the stuffing ingredients into the Crock-Pot?”
“Sure.”
Stella comes into the kitchen then, giving me a welcome distraction from my mood.
“I come bearing gifts.”
She sets two bottles of wine on the kitchen island and her husband Ben follows behind her, a casserole dish in his hands.
“I’m so glad you guys could come,” Tess says, hugging them both.
“We’ll see plenty of our families when we go home for Christmas.”
“Sometimes too much,” Ben says as he grabs a piece of cheese from my tray.
I hug them both and Tess puts Stella to work peeling potatoes.
“I’ll help,” Ben offers.
Stella gives him a look. “This is girl time. Go watch football with the boys.”
“If you insist.” He gives her a quick kiss, gazing warmly at her.
When he’s out of the room, I give her an expectant look, remembering our conversation from the Halloween party about them trying to get pregnant.
“Not yet,” she says softly.
Tess looks back and forth between us. “Did I miss something?”
“Ben and I are trying to get pregnant,” Stella whispers.
Tess lights up. “Oh, that’s exciting.”
“The idea of it is,” Stella says. “But in reality...” She looks over both shoulders to make sure no one’s in earshot. “My hips get sore and sometimes I just want the deposit without a happy ending for myself, you know? Like, let’s get this round in the bag. But Ben refuses to come if I haven’t yet. So...”
“Oh my God, you too?” Tess gets out a corkscrew for the wine. “It’s like a marathon sometimes.”
I stop what I’m doing and get a wineglass from a cabinet. “I’m trying to muster some sympathy for you two because having a man who won’t quit until you get there doesn’t sound like something I’d be bitching about. Now fill this glass up, please.”
“Point taken,” Stella says.
Tess fills glasses for all of us. I’m enjoying my first sip of the crisp, sweet wine when I hear Tate scream. I set the glass down and race toward the stairway, my heart thudding with worry.
“What’s wrong, Mom?” Sam asks as I run past.
“Tate!” I call as I run up the stairs.
When I reach the game room, I find Tate and Rowan playing a video game, both of them grinning. Tate is absolutely fine.
“Tate, you scared the crap out of me yelling like that!”
Rowan pauses the game, looking remorseful. My son barely spares me a look.
“Tate,” Rowan urges.
“What?”
Rowan gives him a look. “I know you just got excited about the game, but you scared your mom. What do you say?”
“Sorry, Mom.”
I walk over to him and kiss the top of his head. He pulls away, scowling at me. “Eww, don’t.”
I don’t take it personally because, at home, he loves affection. He’s only embarrassed because it’s in front of Rowan.
“Hey Tate, can you give me a few minutes to talk to Rowan?” I say. “You can go ask Aunt Tess if she needs any help in the kitchen.”
“Do I have to?” He looks at Rowan instead of me.
“You have to do what your mom said.”
Tate sighs dramatically and leaves the room. I watch him go down the hallway and reach the stairs, making sure he’s gone before I close the door.
“Hi.” I turn around, my pulse pounding now that I’m alone with Rowan.
Last time we were alone, we were all over each other, on the edge of screwing each other’s brains out.
“Hey.” He smiles at me from the couch. “How are you?”
I walk over and sit down next to him. “I’m okay. Don’t mind the onion smell. I’ve been chopping...you know, onions.”