Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 97287 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 486(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97287 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 486(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
“Yes,” he says, and I feel him walk into the room. “And it’s not just me, it’s everyone. I mean, you’ve got the best espresso machine from Italy right there, and yet…”
I turn around to eye him as he’s gesturing wildly to the fancy espresso machine, and I lean against the counter, blowing on my mug before taking a careful sip. It’s scalding hot, but that’s just the way I like it.
He’s wearing a suit this morning, as always, but there’s something about him that makes me feel a little dizzy, like if I didn’t have the edge of the counter behind me I’d slide right onto the floor like a melting ice cream cone. I don’t know if it’s just how intimately I know his body now, his mannerisms, his way, since we’ve been sleeping together most nights for the last few months, but I’ve never felt so connected to someone in all my life. I have to remind myself to act like a human being and not a pile of mush.
“It’s still coffee, James. It’s not like I’m drinking battery acid,” I scoff, straightening up.
“That’s up for debate,” he says with a roguish grin that makes my heart do backflips in my chest.
“James,” Eddie says, suddenly appearing in the doorway. He gives me a friendly nod, then eyes his PPO. “I’m going to head off. Better to get it out of the way.”
James’s face goes blank. It’s amazing to watch how his whole mindset changes when he goes on duty. All that is playful about him is quickly buried by his role as bodyguard. “Aye, sir.”
He doesn’t even look back at me as the two of them leave the room, bound for London for some event, and I ignore the fact that it bothers me. I know that we have to keep our affair a secret or else we could lose our jobs, and even though I love the idea of having a forbidden romance because there’s something so exciting and dangerous about it, it kind of bothers me that we have to hide it. I know it shouldn’t, but I can’t help feeling like he’s ashamed of me. It’s probably not true and just residual trauma from past relationships, but even so…
Anyway, our whole affair began only as a means to an end, a way to have fun and connect, but somewhere along the way I fell for this man. I don’t know how much, or how deeply, just that it’s happened. I don’t know if it’s love—I don’t know if I’ve ever been in love with anyone—but I know that he gets a part of me that I don’t give to anyone else. A part of me I try so hard to hide—the me deep down who just wants someone to push through the mire and see me for me.
I don’t know when this happened, and it’s still not something I’m ready to deal with, but I know that if I don’t figure out what I’m going to do with him before it gets any deeper, I might lose him. And I know I can’t lose him. I need him.
I’m still standing here, holding my coffee, when I hear the front door open and footsteps on the marble floor. I look to see James walking back into the kitchen, coming toward me and smiling.
I’m grinning like an idiot in response.
“Just grabbing some water for the road,” he explains, opening the fridge door and bringing out two bottles of water. He closes it and then quickly leans in close to me.
“See you tonight, aye?” he whispers, his breath hot and smelling of mint.
I feel my cheeks flush at the thought of what we’re going to do tonight, and my stomach does a little flip. “Yes,” I whisper back, my eyes still closed as I catch his scent again.
And then he’s gone, his footsteps echoing on the marble as he goes out the door.
I’m left alone in the kitchen, scared to death that I’m falling in love.
I’m even more scared that I might tell him.
• • •
That night, James comes into my room. It’s past midnight, and I’ve been waiting, lying in bed in only my underwear.
The door opens and he steps in, closing it behind him quietly. I can see the outline of his body in the darkness and I watch as he walks over to the bed, sitting down on the edge.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, his voice a low rumble in the silence.
I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes, and I’m so grateful that he can’t see them in the darkness.
“Laila love,” he continues, leaning in to kiss me.
I kiss him back, melting into him as his lips move over mine. His hand is on my cheek, his thumb gently brushing away my tears.