Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 109178 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 546(@200wpm)___ 437(@250wpm)___ 364(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109178 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 546(@200wpm)___ 437(@250wpm)___ 364(@300wpm)
“Anyway, he jumped in my face like a toad on a pogo stick, and swung his arm back again to slap me. Nadia, everything inside of me exploded. It was like an out of body experience. I pulled out that gun my mama gave me and pointed it at his face. Pushed it right into his big nose. I said, ‘I’ll shoot yo’ ass dead as a doornail and send you to meet yo’ maker, you nasty, greasy mothafucka!’ And I meant that shit, too.”
Nadia stifled a gasp and fought a bit of mirth, too. She seldom heard Nana curse, but it was evident as the old woman relayed the story, she was knee deep in a flashback. PTSD at its finest.
“I was ready to shoot that pistol, Nadia, and I wanted any excuse he gave me to do just that. If he’d even breathed wrong, his face was gonna be on the ground in a thousand bloody pieces. That monster stepped tha hell outta my way, I promise you that! He was cussin’, tellin’ me I was stupid, that I’d be begging him to take me back, and that I couldn’t take care of no three kids by myself no how. On and on he went. I ignored him, got me and my babies in that cab, and I ain’t look back. Next time I saw him was in court for the divorce. I tol’ that judge, a big ol’ White man, everything that yo’ grandfather done to me. That big White man with big ol’ jowls, and little thin bird lips, wearin’ that black robe looked over at yo’ grandfather and told him he deserved to die, but the law wouldn’t let him do it. Granted me my divorce on the spot.”
The coffee was gone. Her throat was dry, her mind whirling. Nadia got to her feet, grabbed both of their mugs, and entered the house. She refilled them with more fresh coffee and returned to her grandmother, only to find her looking towards the tree where the chirping bird had been earlier that morning. Last night, she didn’t see the bird but knew it was there, sleeping in the nest in the darkness. The tree in the sun looked alive, fresh and vibrant. Last night, it was a big, tall thing in shades of black.
All birds have to eventually grow up, fly towards the sky, and find their own way, even if it’s in the dark of night…
“Don’t be so hard on my JoAnn,” Nana mumbled, her eyes still on the sparrow that once was… “She come from a mean ol’ father who hated her, too. He ain’t want no girls. I gave him two of ’em.” She chuckled. “I was young, didn’t know what I was doing. I made mistakes,” Nana said in a low voice, her eyes sheening over. “Your mother had a hard life. No support or relationship with her biological father. We barely saw him. That was for the best, but it still hurt her so. She wanted to make everyone happy, but couldn’t. Now, here’s something else. Don’t you ever repeat this.” Her eyes grew right serious.
“I won’t, Nana, I promise.”
“My baby never admitted it to me, but I think one of the delivery men touched ’er when she was ’bout eleven or twelve. I asked her over and over about it. She said no.”
“What made you suspect it in the first place?”
“’Cause other girls in the building was getting hurt by him. She started acting different, out of the blue. That delivery man disappeared all of a sudden after word was getting around about him messin’ with little girls. I remarried. My second husband wasn’t too keen on JoAnn ’cause your mama spoke her mind, even as a child. She didn’t like or dislike her stepdaddy, though. I think Princeton felt the same about her. They just tolerated one another. Eventually, she grew up, met your father and fell in love. Then she found out he already had an old lady.” Nana shook her head.
“That about broke her in two because she was pregnant, and had no clue she’d been gallivanting with a married man.” I thought mama said she found out after they were divorced? “Ya mama told me she felt stupid. She hated that more than anything in this world… feeling like someone had pulled the wool over her eyes. As you know, your father’s first wife left him after she found out your mama was in a family way. Mama definitely didn’t tell the story that way when I was little…She must’ve been embarrassed for me to know the truth. Maybe she thought I was too young to understand?
“Yeah, she never talks about it much.”
“So, the two of them got married when that was all settled. He seemed right apologetic and convinced me and her that his marriage had been over a while back—it just wasn’t official. Well, wasn’t long after they exchanged vows that she found out he was cheating. That about sent her over the edge. After that, I saw her change yet again, Nadia. I asked her about her feelings, and she wouldn’t talk.” Nana sighed. “Your mama was never the same afterward. That was it. I never heard her speak of no man again. Obviously she’d entertained them a time or two ’cause your brother came on down the pike.” They both laughed at that. “But I imagine that was a one-off situation.”