Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 109178 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 546(@200wpm)___ 437(@250wpm)___ 364(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109178 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 546(@200wpm)___ 437(@250wpm)___ 364(@300wpm)
“My only friends, Nana, are other strippers, and some of them ain’t really friends either because they might have jealous or hateful hearts after somebody done them wrong in the past, too. ’Fraid me or someone else is going to get all the money. Some of these dancers are worse than everyone else, as far as friendships are concerned. If you’re pretty, they hate you. If you can dance yo’ ass off, they hate you. If you are a crowd favorite, they hate you. If your body is nice, they hate you. I can dance, and I’m a crowd favorite. I also keep to myself. So now I get called stuck up. Don’t get me wrong. There’s a few ladies at the club that I get along with just fine, like even, but that’s not the norm. One young lady I actually mentor. Her name is Lydia, and she’s a doll baby. Her mama died when she was young, and she ain’t have nobody, but she’s more like a niece than anything else.
“Sometimes you’ll meet a sweet one though, and I know a few right now that I have drinks with every now and again, but I end up pullin’ these types of girls aside, just like Lydia, and tellin’ them to get their money and leave fast. Take that money and go to nursin’ school, or shoot for the stars and become a doctor. Invest in a business. Buy some property and rent it out. Go get your real estate license, or move somewhere nice. Don’t stay in this shit like I did.”
The two women were quiet for a while.
“Why do you think you stayed with it so long, Nadia? I thought you was happy? You never told me all of this. You never told me you hated it.”
“I don’t hate dancing, Nana, but I don’t love it anymore, either. The plan was to stack my money so I could finish school and live well. Then, after I dropped out, it was to start over. I wanted to travel the world, too. I wanted to eventually finish school, but first, I had all of these plans to see places. I did travel a little…but it would have been better with friends. Real friends. Like I said, I can’t keep many friends, Nana—not while doing this sort of work—so girls’ trips were sometimes out of the question.
“Relationships have always been strange for me, too. Once a man knows you strip, he thinks he can buy anything from you, including your soul. I never date anyone from the club. That’s a rule of mine. When I meet a man outside of the club, I’m honest about my profession. If the guy knows you are a stripper and says he’s cool with it, he won’t be for long.”
“I imagine they get jealous.”
“Soon as he starts fallin’ in love with you, he starts acting possessive and crazy. I’m not putting up with that. I’m not about to sit around and baby somebody, or spend my life tryna convince them that I’m loyal. You either believe I am, or you don’t. I don’t move like that. I’m too old for this. My fuse is short now, and like tonight reminded me, if I don’t pull away from this, someone is gonna end up dead, but it won’t be me. I got the sign I prayed for, so that’s that.”
Nana’s lips thinned, and she swiped at her eye before offering a stiff yawn.
“I want you to do whatever makes you happy, Nadia. You tol’ me the otha day that you wanted to go back to school. Seems to me all the signs are there for you to let this thang go, and do just that. You’re still young. You got time to start ova.”
Nana offered an exaggerated wink, making her feel better.
“I see your mama all in you right now, girl… I mean that in a good way.” Nana’s lips curled in an approving smile. “You’ve got a different path than hers, but y’all are similar in so many ways. Beautiful like your mama, too.”
“Thank you, Nana. I need to know how and why you see my mama in me. You told me about some family curse the other day, but I want to stop this thing. I feel the need to connect with something. It’s a spiritual thing.” Nana nodded in understanding. “I need a lifeline. Can someone please give me a map?”
“We all go a different route, Nadia. My map don’t look like yours, and yours don’t look like the baby that you may one day carry.”
They glared at one another.
“Our maps are different, Nana, but we’re all tryna get to the same place. As a teenager, I didn’t listen to you or Mama. Now, I’m listening. I promise I am.” She swiped a tear away.