Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 74698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
And here it is. The question I’ve been waiting for and frankly, they all deserve an answer. The only problem is, I can’t divulge the full truth.
So I decide to give her a partial.
I take a deep breath, shoring up my resolve. “I was busy, but you’re right… not the reason I avoided returning home. I was avoiding my parents, or rather, mainly my father.”
“But why?” Kat asks, head tilted.
The waitress returns with a tray and sets down our plates. I appreciate how good it all looks while I undo my silverware. “My relationship with my parents was… complicated. My dad was an alcoholic.”
Kat looks up from cutting into her salad. “What?”
I nod sadly, using my fork to jab a strawberry. “It made things really hard, and my mom… she never stood up to him. I needed to get away from that, to find some peace.”
Expression soft with empathy, Kat reaches over and touches my hand. “I’m so sorry, Holland. I had no idea.”
“And why would you? I kept it secret.” From everyone but Trey. “I didn’t want to burden anyone with it. Your family was my escape, my safe place, and I wanted it to be totally separate from my home life.”
“We would have helped,” Kat says, squeezing my hand. “You know that, right?”
“I do,” I reply, squeezing her hand back. “But I needed to find my own way. There was so much pain here that when I had my opportunity to escape, I went as far away as I could go.”
I’m not sure if I’m talking about escaping my parents or escaping Trey, but they both apply.
“I guess I still don’t understand why you couldn’t at least keep in touch with us. We tried to call and text, and sometimes you’d respond, but gradually, you just stopped.”
She’s pressing hard, as expected, and I don’t have a good answer for it. At least not one that would be acceptable to her, but I do tell her another semi-truth. “Something happened before I left that I couldn’t face anymore. And while I can’t tell you what it was, it was better for me to leave Shelbyville behind and never look back. Unfortunately, that meant cutting ties with everything. I’m really sorry that our friendship was a casualty of that.”
Kat studies me critically from across the table. “I don’t agree with what you did. I mean, I understand that you felt you had to cut us all away, but it was wrong.”
I nod in understanding. “I know. And I’m sorry. It’s what I thought would be best for me at the time.”
We stare at each other, Kat’s expression unreadable. I almost expect her to get up and walk out on me, because really… there was no good excuse to cut off ties with all the Blackburns.
Instead, she beams a smile at me. “It’s a good thing I’m a cool chick and I utterly forgive you!” Kat digs into her salad, shoves a bite into her mouth, and while she’s chewing, says, “So, tell me about Zurich. Do you really like it there?”
Laughing, I take a bite of my quiche, savoring just how good it is. “It’s a beautiful city, and I have a great job. I’ve made some good friends, too. It’s just… different.”
“Different how?” Kat asks.
I pause, searching for the right words. “It’s… lonely sometimes. My job, while it’s fulfilling, can be incredibly demanding. Sometimes I feel like I’m just going through the motions.”
Kat’s eyes are full of concern. “Have you thought about coming back? For good, I mean?”
The question hangs in the air because being back here, surrounded by the Blackburns, has stirred something inside me. A longing for home, for connection. “Never,” I say while staring her right in the eyes.
She doesn’t shy away. “But your dad is dead now. There’s no reason for you to stay away.”
I flush from nearly getting caught in a lie. I pinned my leaving on my dad but he’s no longer a factor, so I stumble through an explanation. “Yes, he’s gone and I’m not close to my mom at all. But there are a lot of bad memories here.” And I know I’m referring solely to Trey now, despite all the good memories we had. “Besides… I have a fantastic job. There’s no reason to come back here.”
“Except we’re here,” Kat counters. “You have a family here who loves you.”
My eyes sting but I blink hard to dispel the threat of tears. A genuine rush of love and affection for Kat and the Blackburns hits hard, along with a deep sadness for what I lost. Not just Trey, but all of them.
He took it all away from me.
I swallow the bitterness and reach for the extended olive branch. “I love you all too. While I fully intend to return to my life in Zurich, how about I promise to do a much better job of communicating from here on out?”