Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 74698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
“All the good stuff,” Abby chirped, pulling out sandwiches, fruit and… chocolate chip cookies!
We spent the next hour fishing, eating and laughing. Abby and Kat weren’t too keen on the fishing part, but I loved it. Loved all the new experiences hanging with the Blackburns brought me. Sometimes it made me feel guilty, but I always had a deep sense of belonging on the farm and that’s something I’d never felt in my own home.
As the sun dipped lower and we munched on cookies, my thoughts drifted back to that morning—my dad, red-faced and screaming, his breath reeking of alcohol. His angry words echoed in my mind and made my stomach roll to the point I couldn’t finish my cookie.
“How many times do I have to tell you to leave your fucking shoes on the porch?” he’d yelled at me.
I cringed away from the harsh words, waiting to see if a slap would come, but that morning, he held himself in reserve. It was a rarity, but he’d gotten sidetracked by a call that came in from the printshop. Mom hurried me out of the house and drove me to Blackburn Farms where she dropped me off for the day. The Blackburns were always happy to have me hang around after my lessons. They were the best days of my life.
“Want to cast some, Holland?” Trey hollered, jolting me from the acidic memories of my father’s harsh words and my mother’s indifference.
I nodded, stuffing the rest of the cookie in my mouth, and jogged to Trey’s side. He handed me the pole, already laden with a worm which I appreciated. I cast my line with efficiency.
“Great job,” he praised, and I preened.
Memories of my dad were long gone.
Trey was ever observant though and must have noticed something because he asked, “You okay? You seem a bit off.”
I forced a smile, not wanting to share my troubles. Really, I was way too embarrassed to ever let anyone in this perfect family know how imperfect mine was. “I’m okay. Why?”
He shrugged as I reeled the line in. “You just seemed sad there for a bit while you were sitting with Abby and Kat.”
“Nope,” I replied, pulling the hook out of the water and launching another cast, this time farther than the last. “Nothing’s wrong.”
I risked a glance at him, the afternoon sun making those green Blackburn eyes sparkle. I was only ten and he was fourteen, but oh boy, if my heart didn’t beat a little faster.
He looked skeptical but eventually we broke eye contact and he nodded down. “Close your bail and start to reel.”
He watched me quietly for another few casts before he spoke again. “You know you can talk to me, right?”
It seemed an odd thing to say and at the same time, I’d expect nothing less of Trey. He always seemed to say the right things.
I nodded, the words caught in my throat. I’d never admit how bad things were at home, how scared I was at times. I was tempted to at least thank him for his kindness because it really did mean a lot.
It meant he cared.
But then my line pulled hard and I jerked up reflexively. “Oh my God.”
“Holy shit,” Trey exclaimed as the rod bowed. “That’s a lunker.”
“Keep your tip up,” Wade shouted from the other side of the pond as he took off running toward us. “Keep reeling.”
Both Wade and Trey coached me through hauling in a massive catfish while Kat and Abby cheered from behind.
No matter how the day had started, when it ended, I recall it being one of the best days of my life.
The realization that warm tears are streaking down my cheeks yanks me out of the memories. I wipe them away, furiously blinking back more that threaten. I can’t decide if I’m crying because the past is so bittersweet or because it’s finally hitting me that my father is dead. Up ahead, I see the driveway to my childhood home.
The funeral will be in three days and the thought of facing the Blackburns knots my stomach. Funny how it’s not the stress of losing my dad or having to spend time with an emotionally absent mother that has frayed my nerves.
It’s coming face-to-face with the people who loved me the most all those years ago.
They’ll be there, of course.
That’s just who they are—loyal, unwavering. I cut them out of my life swiftly, a clean incision that was anything but easy.
But it was necessary.
The pain of that decision, made in the turbulence of my younger years, lingers still and I’m thinking that’s where the tears are coming from. I lost a lot when I walked away from that family.
And then there’s Trey, the one I dread seeing the most. The one whose memory can still cause my heart to skip a beat, for all the wrong reasons now.