Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 74698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
We didn’t ride horses, instead coming out on ATVs. We’ve cooked chicken and veggie kabobs over the fire, made s’mores and now we’re all kicked back with beers.
To my best delight, Abby is here visiting from Pittsburgh. She hugged me tight and didn’t let go for the longest time when I arrived at the farm earlier this afternoon and it’s been a nonstop chatter fest with her. I’m sad her husband, Kellan, didn’t come but it absolutely warms my soul to see her and Kat each so happy in love.
Abby’s sitting on my right, her dark hair tied back in a ponytail, and her laugh is infectious. Kat is on my other side, nestled close to Gabe, who is the odd man out in our group but making an effort to fit in. Wade, always the life of the party, is directly across from me, already on his second beer and regaling us with a story about one of his drunk friends tangling with a copperhead snake on a recent outing. Trey is next to his brother and every time my gaze rakes over him, our eyes clash in a secret communication that I hope no one else sees. Admittedly, it’s hard to act as if we’re just friends when we’ve spent the last three days tangled up in each other.
The shift for me came in Louisville when I told Trey a truth I hadn’t realized until the words came out of my mouth.
I didn’t want to be hard.
While I’m still struggling to reconcile feelings that have been dredged up—both good and bad—I can’t ignore the fact that Trey has opened me to the possibility of something with him again.
Oh, it’s all so confusing. He’s made me doubt my career and my life in Zurich. He’s made me look past bitter feelings to perhaps allowing more than just forgiveness where he’s concerned. And it hasn’t helped one bit watching Kat reconnect with a former love who hurt her deeply and seeing how happy they are now.
If she can do it, can I?
“Remember that time at the county fair when Wade tried to impress Emma Jenkins by riding that pony?” Kat says, her eyes twinkling with mischief.
Wade groans, covering his face with his hands. “Please, don’t remind me. I ended up flat on my back in the mud and limped for a week after.”
Abby laughs, nearly choking on her beer. “You did impress her, though. She couldn’t stop talking about how brave you were.”
“Or how stupid,” Wade mutters, but he’s smiling. “Still, that was a good summer. We had a lot of fun back then.”
“We sure did,” Trey says, his voice softer, more reflective. His eyes meet mine over the fire and I have to look away. We weren’t together then, but I had a crush on him. He didn’t reciprocate it back then because the age gap was too big to overcome, but he was my champion. Ever since the day at the pond when he sensed something was wrong and promised I could always talk to him, he was the one I knew I could count on the most. I didn’t open up to him until after our first kiss, but from then on, he was my best friend.
I know that losing that friendship… that safety net… hurt as much as losing the blush of first love and intimacy. But now here we are, and we’re on a precipice. I just don’t know how to take a step off it.
I try to push aside the riot of sensations he causes within me, because tonight, I want to enjoy the company of my friends. “Remember the year we all decided to show up in ridiculous costumes for the Halloween horse show?”
“Oh my God, yes!” Abby exclaims and looks over at her brother. “Trey… you went as the headless horseman. That costume was epic.”
Trey shakes his head, laughing. “I couldn’t see a damn thing out of it. Kept bumping into walls.”
We all laugh and again, Trey and I connect visually across the fire. He grins, taking a sip of his beer. “Hey, it worked. I won best costume.”
Kat nudges Gabe, a playful look in her eyes. “You should’ve seen Trey. He was all in, despite the fact he couldn’t see. We had to lead him around half the time.”
Gabe chuckles, glancing at Trey. “I can picture it.”
I notice how Kat’s hand rests on Gabe’s knee, the way her eyes soften when she looks at him. It’s clear she loves him deeply, and I have a sudden swell of yearning to have the same thing.
Trey’s attitude toward Gabe tonight has been a revelation. He’s treating him with cautious respect, perhaps taking to heart what I said about forgiveness. Of course, I’m caught in the same spiderweb because that means I have to be open to all the possibilities surrounding the concept of accepting a remorseful apology.