Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 74698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
I step in and give him a hard hug. “No better than you, I imagine. How are you feeling?”
“Like I’ve been run over by a freight train,” he admits wryly.
“And Fi?” I ask, as she’s who I’m most worried about.
“She’s in the kitchen. Her Irish backbone’s back in place, ramrod straight, but I’m worried about her. Kat and Gabe are on the way to the airport to pick up Abby and Kellan. Ethan’s over at Marcie’s with Sylvie.”
“How did Sylvie take the news?” She had been asleep last night when I arrived.
“She’s devastated. She and Wade had grown close since she came to live with us. That kid has had too much death of loved ones.” He rubs a hand over tired eyes. “At any rate, Ethan and Marcie decided to get her out of the house today, so they’re hunkering down over there.”
I nod in understanding. Ethan had his own little family to protect and care for, and from what I’ve learned in the short time I’ve known Marcie, I think she’s well equipped to take care of him in return.
I hesitate, then ask what’s been gnawing at me the entire drive over. “Is Trey here? He didn’t return my call this morning.”
Tommy’s expression turns even sadder. “No. He hasn’t returned my calls either, so don’t take it too personally. He did text to let me know he’s staying home today, that he wants space. I don’t think space is good for him, but I’ll give it to him.”
I don’t think it’s good for him either, but I suppose I need to respect his wishes as well. My voice cracks when I say, “He shut me out last night. He blames himself, Tommy.”
Tommy sighs deeply. “He’ll come around, Holland. He just needs time.”
“I hope so,” I say, my eyes welling up with tears. “I want to help him, but I can’t if he won’t let me.” I suck in a deep breath and let it out. I manage a small smile. “But for now, I’m here for you, Fi, and the family.”
“And we love you for it. Why don’t you head into the kitchen,” Tommy says, turning for the home office Ethan normally works from. “I’m dealing with the funeral arrangements.”
I swallow hard, noting the way his shoulders sag. “Would you like me to…”
Tommy shakes his head. “I want to do it. It’s important that I do it, but thank you.”
Reaching out, I grasp his hand for a brief squeeze, then leave him to do a job no parent should have to handle.
I follow the scent of freshly baked pastry into the kitchen. I expect to see Miranda behind the counter but she’s nowhere in sight. Instead, Fi stands there spreading icing over a large pan of cinnamon rolls.
She’s so intent on her work she doesn’t notice me, and I use the opportunity to watch this amazing woman who has been more a mother to me than my own. My biggest shame in leaving everyone behind is in not being honest with her as to why I cut ties. She’s not held it against me though, welcoming me back with open arms.
An overwhelming surge of love and fondness hits me so hard, for a blissful moment it drives away the darkness. As if Fi can feel it, she looks up. Red and puffy eyes warm when they see me, and she sets the spatula aside, still loaded with frosting.
“Holland, love, I’m glad you’re here.” She moves around the counter and wraps me in a hug that feels like a weighted blanket.
And here I am… supposed to be comforting her.
I can’t hold back my tears any longer. They spill over as I hug her tightly. “I’m so sorry about Wade, Fi. I loved him.”
Fi’s grip on me tightens, and I can feel her own tears wetting my shoulder. “I know you did, dear.”
And I love your other son, Trey.
So much.
Yet I feel the doom hovering over us. He was so resolute last night, just like he was eleven years ago when he broke up with me. Trey takes his family loyalty deeply. Once before, he set me aside to avoid creating a rift with Wade. This time, he stood his ground, took the risk of denting his relationship with his brother.
And now, Wade’s dead and Trey blames himself.
Blames us.
The floodgates open, and I sob uncontrollably. “This is all my fault,” I blurt out.
Fi jerks and pushes me away from her, hands gripping my shoulders as she stares at me in shock. “Why would you say that, love?”
“If I had just stayed away from Trey,” I wail with a tortured soul, “none of this would have happened.”
Fi’s expression turns stern and she uses that voice that none of us kids wanted to hear when we were in trouble. “Now, you listen to me, Holland Rhodes. This is not your fault. It’s not Trey’s fault. What happened to Wade was a tragedy caused by a drunk driver, and no one else.”