Total pages in book: 235
Estimated words: 227851 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1139(@200wpm)___ 911(@250wpm)___ 760(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 227851 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1139(@200wpm)___ 911(@250wpm)___ 760(@300wpm)
He huffs, going to the window and gazing out. “You understand what you did, right?”
“Yes.” There’s no way I’d be rolling my eyes right now if John was facing me. “I understand.”
“And you understand that it was wrong?”
“Yes,” I grate.
“And you should be grateful you didn’t succeed, because that kind of life-changing decision should be made as a team, right?”
“Right.”
“So what’s wrong with you then?” he asks, facing me.
I twitch in my seat, uncomfortable. Where the fuck would I start? “What do you mean, what’s wrong with me?”
“Well, apart from the fact that you’re an irrational, neurotic, unreasonable, selfish prick.”
“Not a motherfucker?”
He takes off his shades. “Are you shooting blanks?”
I cough, insulted. “Don’t hold back, will you, mate.”
“You should get yourself checked out.”
“Yeah, I know.” That’ll be something to look forward to. Fucking hell. “God, you sure do know how to bring me back down to earth.”
“Well, here’s something else for you to consider.” He nods at the mess of papers on the desk.
I’ll sort all of this out. But you need to get someone on this. It’s a full-time job.
Ava wasn’t wrong. If only there was a wise way to straddle Ava’s concerns . . . and Sarah’s mental health. I can’t have another death on my conscience. “Fuck,” I breathe, clenching my eyes closed in dread. “John, I feel cornered.”
“I know.” He backs up and opens the office door, and there she is.
Sarah.
I jump up, instantly stressed, and hurry over, pulling her in and checking the corridor. Jesus fucking Christ, I only just got my wife back. I close the door and look between John and Sarah in disbelief.
“I only came because he made me,” she says, sheepish, flicking John a look I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate. “I’m not feeling much like being rejected at the moment.”
If John forced her here, it’s because he was worried. My gaze drops to her wrists. They’re covered by a long-sleeved blouse. In all the years I’ve known Sarah, I have never seen her in a long-sleeved anything.
“I know you don’t want me here,” she says, going to the couch and lowering.
“If I don’t want you here, it’s because your actions made me feel like that. Made Ava feel like that.” I look at the door, praying to all the gods that Ava doesn’t come back to my office. Christ, John. But life is life, and I have to remember that. After all, Ava has given life to me. And, again, I can’t be responsible for the loss of another. Fucking hell. I give John a look to suggest he better have my back if Ava walks in, and he nods, reading my warning well.
Moving across to the couch, I lower, my eyes constantly bouncing between Sarah, John, and the door. “How are you feeling?”
She stalls, resting back, regarding me with an expression I’ve not seen on Sarah often. Wariness. “I’m okay.”
“Okay?” I parrot, laughing. “If you were okay, Sarah, John would not have brought you here and risked a situation where my wife might leave me . . .” I only just bite my tongue before adding “again.” John brushes his finger across his top lip, quietly observing. “I don’t know what to do,” I admit out loud. I feel like I’m in a catch twenty-two situation. Save Sarah, destroy Ava and me. Make sure Ava and I are okay, destroy Sarah. Obviously, Ava comes first, but it’s not as easy as that, unfortunately.
Sarah sits forward on the couch, her eyes briefly going to John. I look at him too, seeing him giving her a small, encouraging nod. God damn him. But I can’t call him out, be mad at him. Just like me, he doesn’t want any harm to come to Sarah.
I wait for her to go on, my hands joined, my fingers twiddling nervously. It’s so much easier to hate her when she’s being a heartless bitch. Problem is, it’s a defense mechanism. Always has been. Sarah uses her bitchy streak to shield her from being hurt. She hasn’t got the energy required to uphold that front right now. “Jesse.” She’s hesitant, gathering courage. “I’m lost,” she says, her bottom lip definitely quivering. Shit, she can’t cry on me. “Please, I beg you, let me back in.”
John’s interested stare is on my profile, I can feel it. But he’s remaining respectfully quiet. Letting us talk. Except, I’m not talking. Just sweating. I press my fingertips into my forehead and sigh, trying to rub away the stress. “Sarah, you tried to destroy my relationship. And worse than that, you never once considered that by doing that, you would have destroyed me.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry.”
“And now you sit here begging me to give you the opportunity to do it all over again?”
“I won’t,” she rushes to say. “I give you my word. I’ll stay out of your relationship, I swear it.”