Total pages in book: 166
Estimated words: 157273 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 157273 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
“We were just friends.” Allie hugged her arms around her waist.
“Until we weren’t.” I reached up to shape the brim of my hat, then ripped it off my head and whipped it into the ocean out of pure frustration. “The fact that you don’t remember what might have been the most pivotal moment of our lives has haunted me for ten fucking years.”
“Haunted you?” she snapped. “Tell me what happened, Hudson.”
I turned to face her. “I was leaving in four days, and Lina told me to take the ring and give it to you as a promise that whatever we started, we’d finish once I was out of basic training. She said it would be a message to your entire family that she had your back, and she was so certain you’d choose me because you loved me, too, even if you didn’t realize it.” My ribs did their best impression of a vise. “She was right. You did. And you don’t remember.”
“I chose you over ballet.” She searched my eyes like she was looking for a lie.
“You chose me over your mother’s company.” I nodded. “You chose us. You didn’t sign the MBC offer at the reception, and said you’d wait to accept whichever company’s contract was closest to wherever I’d be assigned, and that you didn’t care if it cost you a season, and fuck, did I love you even more for it.” My shoulders dropped and my chest hollowed. “You decided to ride back to your parents’ with Lina so you two could game-plan how we should tell them.” I blew out a slow breath. “Letting you get into that car is the biggest regret of my life.”
She glanced at the ring, then back up at me. “My mother said the paramedics found me on the side of the road by myself.”
I scoffed. “Your mother lied. She does that. A lot.” I didn’t bother masking my hatred. “She kicked me out of your hospital room and told me never to come back.”
Her eyes flared. “And you listened?”
“No. I went back the day after, and she told me you’d woken up and didn’t remember anything, and that if I persisted in my attempts to derail your life, she would tell you that I’d had plenty of time to save you both but had taken too long with you, leaving Lina to die, and you’d never forgive me for it.” Remorse hit with the force of a battering ram, just like always.
She flinched. “And you left. That’s the end of the story.” She walked away again, and I followed just like I always did, halting only when she spun around once we reached the boathouse platform. “I deserved the truth!”
“You did.” I nodded as the waves crashed beneath us. “I’m so sorry. I almost called you thousands of times, but once I got phone privileges at basic, I knew that ghosting you had already given you another reason to hate me. And as months and years went by, I’d dug a hole there was no prayer of ever recovering from, so I chose not to intrude on your life.”
“You could have come back at any time and told me the truth.” Her voice broke. “I left a seat open for you for a decade.”
I felt the blood drain from my face, like it knew it needed to protect far more vital organs in danger of bleeding out. “Would you have forgiven me?” I stepped forward, and she retreated. “You told me the first day I met you that your sisters were the most important thing in the world to you, and I didn’t give a shit that night. I chose my wants over your needs and didn’t so much as hesitate. I make split-second decisions, always have, and usually they work out, but that one cost the life of your sister. Could you ever have gotten past the fact that I pulled you out of that car instead of Lina? That I’m the reason you’re alive and she isn’t?”
She flinched.
“I’m right, aren’t I?” I deflated. “Every time you look at me, you’ll remember that I left her in that car. Or you’ll wonder if I had just carried you a few less feet, taken just a little less time to stanch your wound, or hell, let you bleed for another minute, if Lina would be here too.”
Her eyes flicked from side to side as she mulled it over.
“I wouldn’t blame you for not getting past it, since I think about it every damned day. You are every person I go into the water for. There are hundreds of them, but they’re all you. I’m so sorry I couldn’t save Lina, too, Allie. You’ll never know how sorry I am.” I’d waited ten years to say those words, knowing they’d never be enough, and the pain of being right threatened to crush me.