Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 73663 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73663 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 368(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
“This is why I don’t take risks,” I say, barely getting the words out. “I’m going to hurt Renzo and myself and this baby. I’m going to mess it all up.”
“No, you’re not.” She sounds firm. “You won’t hurt anyone, Maddie. You’re going to be okay. I swear.”
Nicole’s smart. She’s the kind of woman that climbs the corporate ladder, stomping on fingers and toes as she gets higher and higher through sheer charm and willpower. I can believe her.
I want to believe her.
I’m just not sure I do.
She promises to come over in a few hours with the pregnancy tests. I let her get back to sleep since I suspect she’ll need it. I sneak back into the bedroom, and as I close the door behind me, Renzo’s voice cuts through the early morning dark.
“Where’d you go?”
I whirl around, heart racing. “I just needed some water.”
“You don’t have a glass.”
“I drank it downstairs.” Why am I lying to him? Why don’t I just tell him I called Nicole? Why don’t I tell him that I might be pregnant?
Because the second he finds out, this is all over.
No more honeymoon phase. No more rough sex anywhere and everywhere. No more Renzo’s comforting arms holding me in the mornings as his stiff cock pokes up against my butt.
“Come back to bed.” He sinks down again with a sigh.
I join him. I feel sick. Not morning sick—I don’t think I’ll puke again—but disgusted with myself. I’m lying to Renzo and I really, really don’t like it, but I don’t want to lose this.
It feels too good. What I have with him is complicated and dangerous, but it’s also seductive and incredible. He makes me laugh, he makes me inspect my own life and my worldviews, he challenges me to be a better person. He makes me want to live again.
Losing that feels like dying.
I don’t want to slink back into my cave and hide myself away anymore. I want to be in the world. I want to climb with him.
So I close my eyes. I let him wrap his arms around me.
And I say nothing.
Nicole shows up at the front door in big black sunglasses. “I feel like I’m going to dissolve into alcohol goo.”
“You look amazing. Got the stuff?”
“Yeah, I got it. What, are we doing some kind of drug deal? Should we be in an alley right now? I left my gun at home.”
“Get in here, you weirdo.” I pull her into the house and shove her upstairs. We pass a couple staff members and Dante’s downstairs scrolling through his phone, presumably guarding the entrance, but nobody says anything.
Renzo’s out at a meeting with his brothers to discuss Famiglia business. Which means we have a few hours to ourselves.
“Holy shit.” Nicole’s looking around with startled, wide eyes. Her sunglasses are shoved up onto the top of her head. “You live here now? Wow, why haven’t you invited me over before this?”
“Because it’s not really my house.”
“Uh, hello? You’re the wife of the guy who owns it. Pretty sure it’s your house.” She stares at the gleaming hardwood, the expensive grandfather clock, the priceless oil paintings. “I knew he was loaded, but geez.”
“It’s all stolen,” I say casually as I lead her into the master bedroom.
“Really? Seriously? It can’t all be stolen, come on.”
“I’m kidding. Okay, give me the sticks, I’m ready.”
She dumps four different pregnancy test boxes onto the bed and laughs when she spots my crystal collection. “I can’t believe he let you have that stuff. Actually, did you redecorate in here? It’s giving me seriously Maddie-witchy vibes right now.”
“I did indeed, thanks for noticing. He took it surprisingly well.”
“That’s a keeper. Anyone willing to put up with your rock collection is a good man.”
“They’re crystals, and it’s not like it’s a herd of llamas or something.”
“Right, sure, crystals.” Nicole sits on the edge of the bed. “Do you want me in there while you go? I’ll hold your hand. Not like I haven’t seen it before.”
“No, I can handle peeing myself. I drank like six glasses of water and I’m basically about to burst.”
“Good luck then.” She helps me get the boxes open and the tests prepped. “You’ll be fine.”
I do my business. I drop one test into the toilet, which is gross and extremely unfortunate, and I spend like five minutes scrubbing my hands, but eventually all four tests are peed-on and pending.
Nicole joins me once they’re lined up on the vanity. She holds my hands, even though one was in the pee water, and doesn’t seem to mind. I lean against her, chest tight, butterflies ripping up my stomach.
“Maddie?”
“Yeah?”
“If they’re positive, I want you to name the baby after me. Nicole for a girl. Nick for a boy.”
“Why would I do that?”
“I don’t know. Just trying to lighten the mood.”