Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 78387 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78387 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
“No.”
“Are you going to?”
“Nah,” I say, shaking my head again. “I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
I shrug. “We’re not together. I don’t see the point.”
Elle stands and comes to me. She places her hands on my cheeks and makes me look at her. “Benjamin, I love you. What we’re going through is a rough patch.” She shows me her ring finger. “I haven’t taken my ring off because I believe we have a future.”
I step back and her hands drop to her sides. “You didn’t take it off because you didn’t want your family to know we broke up. It’s not because you thought we’d get back together.”
“That’s not true.”
“It’s what I believe, and you can’t change my mind.”
“Fine,” she huffs and looks away for a beat. “Your next girlfriend, who could become your wife, will want to have your babies, and you’ll want her to have them. Wouldn’t you rather have your sperm saved now, instead of regretting things later?”
I go to the window and look out. There isn’t much of a view from my office—just our small backyard and the neighboring houses. The view is in the front where our living room, kitchen and bedroom are.
“I’m not going anywhere, Ben,” Elle says quietly.
“Until you have to go on a video shoot or leave for a tour or go find your next talent.”
“My dad is taking my new band on tour and Uncle Liam is going to help run my office for a bit. Quinn will fill in as well. I’m not leaving your side,” she tells me.
“I don’t want your pity, Elle. Or your money or the guilt that comes with knowing you’re missing work because I’m sick. I’m facing an uphill battle and the last thing I need on my mind is knowing how stressed you are.” I can’t turn to look at her, out of fear I’ll take what I said back and tell her I want her to hold my hand while I go through everything. I do want her there, but I can’t just push our problems under the rug.
Elle clears her throat. “I’m not going anywhere, Ben. I’ll call this clinic and get you an appointment.”
“It’s too late.”
“What do you mean it’s too late? You told me surgery is next week. Surely, they can get you in before . . .” She pauses. “They’ll get you in. I’ll make sure of it.”
I turn and face her. “This is what I’m talking about. I tell you it’s too late and you think you can make a phone call and fix everything.”
“Be mad at me. I don’t care. In five or ten years, when you’re married and your wife wants a baby, you can thank me then. Until that happens, Ben, I’m going to do what I can to make sure you have the best of everything. If you think that’s pity or I’m doing something I don’t want to do, you’re wrong.” She marches toward me with her finger pointed at my chest. “I love you. You’re my best friend, and until December, you were my fiancée. I. Am. Not. Leaving. You.”
She wipes away the tears streaming down her face.
“Elle—”
“No, Ben. You don’t get to tell me I can’t care. That I can’t be there for you. That will literally kill me. You’re worried about feeling guilty because I’m there, well guess what buddy, you’ll feel guilty if I’m not there. My mom, dad, Quinn, they’re all going to be there and how is that going to make you feel when I’m not?
“I get that we’re not an ‘us’ anymore, but you know what? We were best friends long before we became lovers, and I want to be there for my best friend.”
She covers her face with her hands and sobs. I go to her and pull her into my arms. “Okay, Elle.”
“Okay, what?” she mumbles into my chest.
“You win.”
She looks up at me. “This isn’t a game, Ben. It’s life. I want to help you, and this is the only way I know to help.”
I study her for a moment and finally give up the fight. Deep down, I knew once she found out I had cancer, she’d be in takeover mode. I nod and pull her back into my arms. “Please help me.”
Elle squeezes her arms around my torso and says, “Of course.”
13
ELLE
Ben invites me to stay for dinner, which he ends up making. He grills salmon, roasts potatoes, and asparagus, while I pick out the wine. He’s not supposed to drink, but has a small glass anyway, and tells me it’s to calm his nerves. I know they’re frayed, and he’s on the edge of losing his shit. I would be if I were him. Thankfully, his mother volunteers to clean up after dinner. It seems like Brenda and Brad have seen the light, so to speak, and have realized the potential severity of the situation. Ben’s sick. He may look healthy and thriving on the outside, but on the inside, his body is about to wage war against a deadly disease. He shouldn’t have to cater to his family. It needs to be the other way around, and if they plan to stay, they’re going to need to pitch in. Something needs to be said to them, but the last thing I want to do is upset Ben. He is—and will be—going through enough. He doesn’t need me making the situation worse.