Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 78387 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78387 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 314(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
This must satisfy the moms because after some muttering they go back to their car and tell us to get our butts home right away. In the truck, Noah thanks me for taking the blame, but assures me it wasn’t necessary. He says he’s not afraid of his mom.
“But you’re afraid of mine,” Quinn says, laughing uncontrollably.
He’s right.
19
ELLE
“Stop pacing,” Peyton says. “You’re making me nauseous.”
“I can’t help it. I’m nervous.”
“Noah and Quinn aren’t going to let anything happen to Ben.”
“I know, but I still worry.”
Peyton closes the book she’s reading and pats the spot next to her on the couch. I sit, with a heavy sigh, and keep my eyes on the front room window. “How are things?”
“Horrible,” I tell her. “I want to fix him and make everything better, but I can’t. I hate not having any control over the situation, and I hate all the waiting. We have to wait for treatment. Wait for the treatment to work. Wait, wait, wait. And then when the waiting is over, we have to see if the treatment worked, which is just more waiting.”
“Does Ben see you like this?”
“I try to hide it from him. He doesn’t need to worry about me worrying. I don’t know if I’m succeeding though,” I tell her. “He sees someone who’s determined to fight for him when we’re at the hospital, and when we’re alone, he sees how vulnerable I am. He’s my life, and I’m never going to forgive myself if something happens to him.”
“The surgeon said surgery was successful, right?”
I nod. “But that doesn’t mean it hasn’t spread or the chemo isn’t working. Next week, he starts his second batch or whatever, and then radiation if needed.”
“Don’t they usually say round two?”
“No, I think that’s reserved for the next time he starts. We’re still on round one. It’s all so confusing, and the verbiage is so muddled. I hate all the doctor speak and want to scream at them half the time, like talk to us as humans in words we understand. They make me feel stupid.”
“You’re not stupid, Elle.”
“I feel like it sometimes, P. And I feel incredibly helpless. I know I hover over Ben and I’m sure he hates it, but I don’t know what else to do for him. Besides, worry.”
Peyton takes my hand in hers. “I think what you’re doing for Ben is working. This morning, before the guys asked him to go out with them, he looked happy.”
“I think being here—as well as you guys being here—is what he needs. The hospital worries me though, what if they’re not equipped—”
“Elle, they’re equipped. Do you really think Uncle Liam and Aunt Josie have just been sitting on their butts since you said you and Ben were coming? Noah told me, they toured the cancer wing and the chemo room. You know if they felt like it wasn’t up to par, they’d tell you to stay in Los Angeles. They’re not going to let Ben down. Or you.”
Tears fall. I wipe them away with the back of my hand. I lay my head on Peyton’s lap. She combs through my hair, much like our mom does when we need her. “How long are you here for?”
“Off and on. Noah will be here a little more than me, but I have some meetings that I can’t do over video conference, and I need to meet with the new recruits. I’ll be here as much as I can or in L.A. Wherever you are, that’s where I’ll be.”
“I love you, P. I honestly don’t know what I would do without you.”
“You’ll never have to know.”
Except, I almost did. When Peyton was in the car accident, I thought I lost her. I felt her absence deep within me. I couldn’t explain the immense pain I was in to anyone because they wouldn’t understand what it’s like to lose a part of you. Peyton’s not just my sister, she’s half of me and I of her.
Doors slam and laughter rings out. I sit upright and wipe away the rest of my tears. Before I can rush off to the bathroom to splash water on my face, the guys come in. Ben’s holding a bag from the local drug store and has a shit-eating grin on his face.
“What’s going on?” Peyton asks before I can get the words out.
“Hey, babe.” Noah comes over to her and kisses her. “Ben’s going bald, so we’re going to shave his head.”
“And mine,” Quinn says from the kitchen.
“And mine,” Liam says as he walks through the door.
“Mine too,” Mack says when he enters the house after Liam.
“Hey, Mack,” I say, and he waves. Seeing him reminds me that I need to ask Peyton what’s going on.
“Shaving your head, huh?” I glance at Ben. He shrugs and tries to hide the smile on his face. I had a feeling the guys would do this and turn it into something fun.