Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 102079 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 510(@200wpm)___ 408(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102079 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 510(@200wpm)___ 408(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
I returned a slight nod before heading to the deck.
“Have a seat.” Dad pointed to the folding chair facing his.
I sat with my arms crossed over my chest, then I quickly unfolded them to appear open to his words, even though I knew I was going to be with Isaac no matter what.
“Does your mom need to get a pregnancy test from the pharmacy?”
My mouth opened to protest his implied accusations that Isaac was the guy who got girls pregnant and drove them to get abortions. I promised not to say anything about the truth, but it was hard because I wanted to defend him. So I returned a headshake.
“You’re living in sin and throwing your life away.”
Swallowing hard, I nodded. “You’re right. It is my life.”
He gazed off into the distance, the sun setting over acres of farmland. “It’s not too late to do the right thing. You could still enroll in community college. Everyone in the choir misses you. And I want to forgive you.”
I wanted to forgive him too, but he was making it impossible.
“I’m moving to Nashville with Isaac.”
“How will you support yourself?”
I shrugged. “I’ll be with Isaac. And I can get a job during the day so I can perform at night.”
He rubbed his temples. “What happens when he finds someone else? Will you come crawling back to us?”
“What makes you think he’s going to leave me?”
Dad grunted. “Don’t be naive. I love you. I see all the things that make you a wonderful young woman, but that’s not what he sees. And he’s going to get bored and move on to the next young woman who’s vulnerable and …”
“Naive? Stupid? Gullible?” I laughed, shaking my head. “Wow. What’s harder to believe? That a guy would want to be with me for the right reasons or that Isaac isn’t a monster who preys on young women?”
“He smokes, drinks, and yes, gets young women pregnant.”
"He quit smoking," I said, even though he occasionally sneaked one when he was really stressed.
“So he just still drinks and impregnates women.”
I fisted my hands at my sides and gave him a fake smile. “I’ve been singing. And I love it. I’m happy.”
“Heather and—” He pressed his lips together and closed his eyes for a few seconds.
“Heather and Joanna are gone, and I will live with that unimaginable reality for the rest of my life. But I’m alive, and they would want me to live. They would want me to follow my dreams, fall in love, and do all the things they never got to do.”
The muscles in his jaw flexed.
I stood. “That’s the hardest part for you, isn't it? You can’t figure out why I’m here. Why did God spare me despite my sinful trip with Isaac to Nashville? Well, I don’t know either. And some days are easier than others, but I’m not wasting my chance, this gift, or blessing.” I shrugged. “Maybe God likes Isaac. Maybe He made him just for me.” I opened the door.
“If you leave—”
I turned and lost my resolve. My fists relaxed, as did my shoulders. With one blink, I released so many emotions that I’d been holding back. “If I leave, I want to believe that my family will come visit me and watch me do what I love. If I leave, I want to believe that I’m welcome home any time. If I leave, I know I’ll never regret it because I’m not doing it for Isaac or anyone else. I’m doing it for me. God loves me unconditionally while allowing me to make my own decisions, even if they are mistakes. Can’t you try to love me like He does?” I closed the door behind me.
When my sisters returned from the store, I told them over dinner about the stops Isaac and I made over six weeks away. My mom tried to restrain her smile as if she knew my dad wouldn’t approve of her being happy for me.
“Are you getting married?” Gabby asked.
Eve shot me a smirk with wide eyes while Dad kept his gaze on the bowl of soup.
“Mom and Dad said Isaac needs to marry you before he gets you pregnant.” Gabby shrugged as if she didn’t know that she was stirring up trouble. But she did. I could see the mischievous twinkle in her eyes.
“That’s not exactly what we said,” Mom corrected her.
“I don’t want to get married. I’m too young.”
“But you’re going to live together?” Gabby's follow-up question stoked the tension.
I wanted to muzzle her.
“Yes,” I said. “But you shouldn’t be like me. You should find a nice boy who goes to church every week and wants to marry you before living with you.” I shared a toothy grin with everyone at the table.
“You mean like Matt?” Gabby wiped a drop of soup from her chin. “I’d marry him.”