Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 102079 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 510(@200wpm)___ 408(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102079 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 510(@200wpm)___ 408(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
Because your husband has ruined your family.
And I’m lost.
Jobless.
Hopeless.
Godless.
Oh … and homeless and careless.
“Isaac is a complicated young man. He leaves when things get tough. But he always returns. I just”—she bit her lip for a few seconds—“I wouldn’t wait around for him. Make things right with your family. Start college. Be the amazing woman I know you are.”
I wasn’t her definition of amazing. And I didn’t want to do anything but wait for Isaac.
“You don’t have any idea where he went?”
“He took his trailer and horse. So my best guess is he’s rodeoing.”
I chewed on my thumbnail.
“Sarah, how did you leave things with Matthew?”
I paused my chewing and stared at her.
“Sweetie, he won’t talk to anyone. If he’s not playing baseball, he’s in his room with music blaring. I’ve been trying to do everything since Isaac left.”
The farm stand.
“Sorry.” I cleared my throat. “I don’t have a car.”
She frowned. “What if we helped you get something?”
“I don’t think Matt will want me anywhere near him.”
“I think you underestimate how much he loves you.”
Be vulnerable. Feel everything.
“I think you underestimate how badly I hurt him.”
Vi sat next to me and held my hand. “Did you mean to hurt him?”
“No. But I knew it would hurt him, and I did it anyway. Have you ever done that? Have you ever done something that you knew would hurt someone, but you chose to do it anyway?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
I didn’t expect that.
Vi squeezed my hand before standing. “By the grace of God, I am what I am.” She opened the door to the motel room. “We’ll drop a car off later, and you can come back to work when you’re ready.”
With each passing day, my anger toward Isaac grew.
I didn’t want a guitar; I wanted him.
How could he abandon me after everything we shared in Nashville? After I lost my two closest friends?
A week after Violet and Wesley dropped off an old truck that had been parked in the machine shed, I found the courage to leave the motel and go back to work.
When I opened the door to the truck, my mom pulled into the parking spot next to me.
“Don’t cry,” I whispered to myself, taking a shaky breath.
She stepped out and gently closed her door. “Hi,” she said with a much calmer demeanor than the broken-down woman I left over a week earlier.
“Hi.” I gave her a sad smile as she walked around the car.
She stopped a few feet from me, and I took the last two steps and hugged her.
“Sarah,” she whispered on a long exhale.
When I released her, she eyed the truck. “Vi said you were going back to work.”
“Yeah.”
She didn’t beg me to come home, which meant Dad hadn’t changed his mind. I could tell from the way she fiddled with her wedding band that she was there as a mother who needed to see her daughter. It was that simple.
“Do you need anything?” she asked, pressing her fingers to the corners of her eyes.
“I could use a few more things from my room.”
“Of course. I can bring them to you, or you can come to the house during the day when your dad’s at the church.”
I stared at the truck keys, sliding the key ring over my finger. “I’ll do that.”
“He’ll come around.”
I wasn’t so sure, but I returned a nod anyway.
“Your sisters are devastated.”
“Tell them I’m fine.”
She pressed a finger to my chin and lifted it. “But are you fine?”
No.
“I have a roof over my head, a vehicle, and a job.” I smiled. “What more could I need?”
Heather … Isaac …
“Well, I have to get to the church before the kids show up.” She glanced at her watch. “Your dad has a meeting Thursday night, so he’ll be home late. Why don’t you come home and have dinner with me and your sisters?”
“Yeah. We’ll see.”
She gave me one more hug and murmured, “I love you,” before turning and tucking her chin to hide her tears.
It took me a few minutes to gather my emotions and tuck them away so I could function. When I let everything in at the same time, it was too much. I could carry a brick but not a whole house.
Matt’s car was in the drive. God continued to test me, and I had to go inside to get the key and the money for the farm stand. My hand shook as I knocked on the door twice before opening it.
“Good morning,” Vi said. “I have cookies and loaves of bread. Can you help me carry them?”
She handed me the money pouch, key, and two bags of baked goods.
“Oh, good, you can help Sarah carry these. I need to grab a quick shower,” she said, glancing over my shoulder.
I turned toward Matt, and it felt like I was falling on my sword. His expression was dead, as if I was a complete stranger or a ghost he didn’t see.