Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 102079 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 510(@200wpm)___ 408(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102079 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 510(@200wpm)___ 408(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
Eve tossed the weeds into the bucket and pulled off her gloves. “Sure, you didn’t graduate with two hundred other kids, and Devil’s Head is small. But it doesn’t matter what school you went to; Matt is a great catch. He’s cute, smart, and so nice. He’s respectful. And he’s going to be a big deal someday. Everyone knows he’ll get drafted. And even if, by some weird chance, he doesn’t, he wants to go to law school. He’s perfect. How can you possibly think you can do better?”
Better wasn’t the right word.
“Because he’s the only guy I’ve ever kissed. Mom and Dad like him so much that I think they want to marry him. He’s going to Michigan in the fall, and I don’t want a long-distance relationship. Yet, it’s a foregone conclusion in everyone’s eyes that we’re going to eventually get married, but I don’t want to think about husbands or college because I want to move to Nashville.” I sighed. “So, it doesn’t matter that he’s a good catch. Guys aren’t a one-size-fits-all. And now that we’re out of school, I don’t know if he’s right for me.”
Eve shifted her eyes over my shoulder to our parents. “Whoa, that’s a lot, Sarah,” she murmured. “His family owns our house.”
I closed my eyes with another long sigh. “I know.”
“I’m not saying you should take one for the team, but …” Eve wrinkled her nose, bringing her gaze back to me.
“No. It’s not fair to ask me to take one for the team. Going on one date with someone you don’t like because you’re doing a friend a favor is taking one for the team. Giving up your dreams and marrying the wrong man is ludicrous.”
“When are you going to tell everyone?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I don’t know. His parents will hate me. And ours will disown me, especially if we get evicted because Wesley and Violet hold a grudge.”
“Is Matt onboard?”
I nodded, even though he also seemed to enjoy sex. And that was my fault.
My idea.
My really stupid idea.
Later that afternoon, Matt called while I played Isaac’s guitar (with my clothes on).
“Hi,” he said.
I tried to smile, but I couldn’t, and I was glad he couldn’t see me. We hadn’t talked since I ended our last call with “you’re an asshole.” With a brave inhale, I acted like it didn’t happen. “Hey. Are you home?” I asked.
“Yeah. We got home an hour ago, but I’ve been unpacking, and Dad needed me to help him and Isaac fix part of the fence. But I wanted to make sure we’re okay. I know I upset you, and I didn’t mean to.”
“No. It’s fine,” I said, “I shouldn’t have called you that. I’m sorry.”
“I was a jerk. I’m the one who should be sorry. Listen, my parents are going out with the Kirks tonight. Card club at their house. So I was thinking we should grab dinner and go to a movie. And by movie, I mean we should come back to my house.”
“With your brother?”
“Isaac spends most of his time in the barn, playing his guitar, drinking, and smoking. We’ll have the house to ourselves. I missed you.”
“Isaac loaned me his guitar again.”
“Well, bring it back. Okay?”
“Matt, he’ll know we’re there and not at a movie.”
He chuckled. “So? Who’s he going to tell?”
“What if he comes back to the house while we’re doing stuff?”
“I’ll tell him not to.”
I closed my eyes. Did I want Isaac to know I was messing around with his brother?
No. But kind of yes. I wanted to make Isaac jealous, but I didn’t want to endure sex to achieve that result. And why did it matter? Was I going to cheat on my boyfriend just to have bad sex with another guy?
Of course not.
I didn’t want to have sex with Isaac, but I wanted him to ghost his hands and lips along my skin. And I wanted him to say dirty things to me. Yes, I was going to Hell for thinking that.
“What time are you picking me up?” I asked.
“Five?”
“Okay.”
“I can’t wait.”
Rolling my lips together, I hummed. After hanging up the phone, I played the lines I remembered from “Bette Davis Eyes.”
I felt the rhythm.
The words.
And Isaac’s arms around me.
At five, I was waiting outside with my bangs pulled into a barrette, white denim shorts that hit my knees, and a loose tee that said: “Jesus Loves Me.”
I had a drawer full of Vacation Bible School shirts, and I secretly hoped Matt wouldn’t feel as eager to remove my clothes if I wore a billboard reminding him that I was his pastor’s daughter. And it made my parents proud to see me leave the house representing Jesus. There’s no way they suspected Matt was planning on having sex again with their faithful daughter.