Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 102079 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 510(@200wpm)___ 408(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102079 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 510(@200wpm)___ 408(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
“Come here, gorgeous,” he said with a hint of a Southern drawl that made me shiver.
Sometimes, I detected that same accent when Wesley talked, but I never noticed it with Matt or Violet.
“Can’t.” I crossed my arms. “It’s going to take me a few days to forget about you being mean to that baby cow.”
He grinned. “Is that so?”
“Yep.”
He continued to play his song, but I didn’t recognize it. “I heard Matt saying that you might go camping with Heather and a few other friends over the Fourth.”
“Yeah. So?”
“So what if you didn’t?” He stopped playing and eyed me with an unreadable expression.
“Why wouldn’t I? It's the first time I've had permission to camp without parents chaperoning."
“It’s four hours to Nashville. I’ll be there for two nights.”
Isaac brought me to life while everyone else tried to crush my dreams, slamming one door after another. He blew off the ceiling and gave me wings. I was still upset on behalf of that baby cow, but I couldn’t fully suppress my grin as I took slow steps toward him, dragging my shoes in the dirt.
“What are you doing in Nashville?”
He sat up, pulling his feet from the window and setting his guitar on the floor. “Playing at a bar my buddy owns. Drinking too much beer. And watching fireworks.”
“What buddy?” I tried to control my giddiness while I clasped my hands behind my back.
“A chief I served under as an MP. He retired last year, and he bought a bar with his brother.” Isaac tossed his toothpick onto the ground and fished a pack of gum from his pocket.
I stood between his spread knees and rested my hands on them, gazing up at him. “What’s an MP?”
He chuckled. “Military Police.”
I twisted my lips. “So you arrested people?”
Again, he grinned. “I enforced the military laws.”
“Hmm. Interesting. Tell me more about this bar. Are you asking me to sing with you?”
“Fuck, no.” He unwrapped a stick of gum and shoved it into his mouth.
I frowned. “Then why bring it up?”
“Because I thought you’d like to watch some other people perform. You like to watch, right?”
Despite not being finished with my grumpiness towards him, I nodded.
He curled my hair behind my ear and ghosted his fingers along my jaw. “Come with me,” he whispered.
I swallowed, fighting emotions that were unlike anything I had ever felt. “Um, where would I stay?”
“With me.”
All the air left my lungs.
I longed to be an adult, carving out my own path and setting my own rules, but my conscience had been influenced by hundreds of sermons. Still, Isaac’s “with me” felt like the day my dad took the training wheels off my bike, turning it into a “big girl bike.” I faked it—feigning bravery until I realized I was doing it all by myself.
The road was mine.
The wind in my hair.
Hands gripped to the handlebars.
I knew there would be bumps, and I might fall a few times and scrape my elbows and knees, but it was worth it.
“Say it again,” I said, stepping onto the running board and removing his hat while he slid one hand along my backside.
“With me,” he said before kissing me.
After the rodeo, Matt drove us to our favorite spot. It was torturous. The boy I’d loved and to whom I gave my virginity wanted to be intimate with me. But I still tasted Isaac on my lips and felt his hands on my body. Did it matter that with or without Isaac in the picture, I didn’t want to be Matt’s wife? Did it matter that we were going to be over soon?
Life didn’t seem as simple as right and wrong. Truths and lies.
My relationship with Matt reached far beyond us. Did that make it okay to have sex with him so we’d stay together a little longer so our families didn’t have any bad blood?
He put the car in Park and unbuckled, scooting toward the middle this time instead of walking around to my side. Maybe this meant we were just going to make out.
Even that felt forced and wrong.
But we did—we kissed.
He touched me on the outside of my clothes before pulling my T-shirt off. Again, we kissed, and he slid his hand inside my bra for the first time.
I choked on a suppressed sob.
Matt reared his head back and froze. “Sarah, w-what’s wrong?”
I shook my head, holding my breath along with the emotions threatening to gush out with it. Then I wiped my eyes before the tears escaped. “N-nothing,” I whispered.
“You’re crying. That’s not nothing.”
I hugged my shirt to my chest. “This is so w-wrong.”
Matt drew his brows together. “But we already … I mean, do you regret what we did? I thought you wanted to? I thought you liked it.”
“I did. I just …” I shook my head again. “I’m sorry. I feel like we’re going a million miles an hour, and I’m afraid it’s too fast. You’re going to college soon. I’m staying here. Our families are waiting around for us to get married, but they don’t know we’re breaking up. And I feel like it’s too much. I can’t do this.” I shook my head and wiped my eyes. “There’s so much pressure to make everyone happy, and we haven’t had time to adjust to life outside of high school. And now we’re having sex, and what if something happened and I got pregnant? And I know this is my fault. I brought it up. I thought we could do this without feeling like it had to mean something more. But …”